fifteen minutes

For fifteen minutes tonight, I was in heaven. We were all watching Toy Story 3 and for the end of the movie, I convinced Emelie to snuggle with me on the couch, just like we used to when she was little. I laid down first and she spooned in front of me so we could both watch Woody and the gang come to grips with Andy growing up. I could kiss the back of her head a dozen times a minute and wrap my arm around her waist. And so I did because I couldn't help myself. Just like I used to... I hadn't had that opportunity for years. Years. I was immediately overwhelmed with emotion. For I hadn't realized how much I missed that. And how quickly time was passing. I swear it seems like just yesterday that we snuggled and watched Dora or Blues Clues or some other random kid show. And within seconds, I was fighting back tears (as I am right now writing this). Tears that show up when you aren't prepared for any overwhelming emotion pulling at your very soul. Tears of gratefulness, sadness and joy. Emelie didn't notice, nor did anyone else. And had they been discovered by my usually very observant offspring, they easily could have been passed off as "movie tears" for the gang as they were saying farewell to a part of their lives and now it was time to move on. Which makes those fifteen minutes even more surreal. I was in a moment of art imitating life and life imitating art, watching MY precious moment being played out on the screen before me as it was happening. 

I am so grateful to have had one more moment with my doodle to help me remember that it really is the little things that make us complete.  And to not take them for granted.

ten on tuesday

So I know lots of blogs have this as a regular post and thought I would try it myself...

1. Emelie just had her drama class performance last week and did such a great job! She was definitely the best actor on the stage!  Great job Doodle!!
2. And I am so excited for Spencer's debut performance in a high school musical this Thursday! He is a member of the ensemble in Lewis-Palmer's production of "Funny Girl". Even better is that he is excited too. Good luck buddy!
3. And Jessica just finished performing in her first college production (it was a senior capstone project) of "Boy Meets Girl" and was soooooo funny as the third character of the three person cast. She played the teacher, the older sister and the coach in this ADORABLE and clever little one act play. AND, because she is so close, Chris and I got to see it and even video it! (sshhhh about the videoing part.)Yay Jessy!!
4. So happy my kids have all found something they are passionate about and I think it is even funnier that it seems to be the same thing for all of them - the theatre!!!  Then again, it definitely runs in the family.
5. Jessica will be home for 6 weeks over all the holidays! Yay!! We all miss her so much and are excited she will be home again for family movie nights and board games, building gingerbread houses, making Christmas cookies, decking the halls and trimming the tree... Ah, pure bliss.
6. Speaking of holidays...Thanksgiving is a little over a week away!!! Seriously!! Where does the time go?
7. Happy Chris is feeling better after a long yucky weekend for him. Lesson learned - DON'T take the flu shot! That's right - DON'T! He has to take it every year because the military makes him and EVERY YEAR, he gets the flu a couple weeks later - from the shot! And the rest of us are fine. Go figure.
8. Happy the weather is still nice enough a couple of days a week so I can get some hiking in with my peeps! LOVE my time with the girls.
9. Trying to figure out how to make our Christmas cards this year unique. Feel like I need to make sure they stand out from the rest since it IS my business to do that for other people!
10. Overall, very, very thankful.

Hmmm...ten random thoughts that somehow form a very loosely cohesive thought... I could probably get used to this.

proud to be an american

My Dad turned 81 on Sunday. So blessed to have him as a role model on what it means to be an American. He served his country, his church, his community and his family well. Happy Birthday Dad and God Bless you!

thankful

ddd

We have an pretty great annual tradition in this family but it is just for 2 members. And it was started by the youngest member a few years ago which makes it so cute. And it makes me smile when I think about it. Daddy-Daughter Day! The next one is planned for this Saturday so there has been A LOT of talking and planning for it by Emelie for the last few weeks. SOME things on the agenda are putt-putt golf, the driving range, a visit to the pet store to play with some kitties, popcorn and a movie (or DVD) and some snuggling, Maggie Moos Ice Cream, Target, Staples, Best Buy or Wal-Mart for a little gadget shopping, Coffee Cup Diner for brunch, boardgames and cardgames, maybe some Harry Potter legos, and about a dozen other items to squeeze in to what I'm sure will be a jam-packed fun filled very memorable day.

I LOVE how much Emelie LOVES DDD. I think I love how much she loves PLANNING them even more. And it is pretty cute to watch and listen to too.

I am pretty sure her daddy loves them too.

so much

When you drop your first child off at college, there are an endless number of things you could blog about - the chaos of moving day; the stereotypical tumultuous summer prior to; the roller coaster of emotions of emptiness and loss to excitement and pride, of all parties involved I might add. The list goes on and on. It is hard for me to choose and I certainly don't want to write about all of it - too emotionally drained to even THINK about doing that.

What I think I do want to remember is the feeling of relief as I reflect on all of it, mostly because it is so unexpected. I thought I would be crying like a baby overwhlemed with my own sense of loss when I hugged and kissed her and said goodbye to those beautiful blue eyes til who knows when. Instead, I watched her scurry out of the drizzly weather and off to her new life last night without looking back even once. We got out of the rain too and headed home after three days of parent orientation/information sessions and a ridiculous number of trips to her new 11x13 abode. And I didn't cry at all. I just wanted to recap all of the great things that we had the privelege and honor to observe first hand: her roommate and she seemed to be getting along great, she was getting to know others in the hall and her orientation group, she was taking charge and managing her crazy schedule and had already taken part of a few freshman traditions. And I smiled.

And then I was reminded of a similar milestone that happened exactly 15 autumns ago when I dropped her off at preschool in a new building with complete strangers where she new nobody, and I mean nobody. She kissed me and smiled and never looked back even once. And that feeling of relief , also unexpected all those years ago, enveloped me like a warm and comfy blanket then too.

She's gonna be fine. Better than fine. And we will be too.

the last supper

Steak, baked potatoes and corn on the cob. An excellent meal by any standards.No messiah, no apostles and no crab though. I asked her what she wanted to eat her last night at home and of course she wanted seafood (I think she loves it more than me) and I could not comply. To be specific, she wanted crab newberg made from the McCormack seasoning packs you used to be able to buy in the store. Keywords: used to. They haven't made it for a few years now and we can't seem to find a comparable recipe either and believe me we have tried. So for her last meal before she headed off to college, we substitued the good ol' midwestern meal. She was satisfied and grateful but I couldn't help but think how this was just the beginning of me not being able to "be there" for her when she needed me, even though she would probably not admit that she needs anyone for anything anyway - what 18 year old does? I know she is only 45 miles away and of course there is texting, facebooking, skype and the old standby, email but it just won't be the same and that's got me feeling, well... sad. The good news is that she isn't sad at all and is really ready for this "beg-ending" to begin and that makes me... happy. I love you Jessica and wish you the best at DU!

And somethin' tells me the messiah was there after all.